It’s finally September and with that brings change. Change in the weather, change in nature and change in pace, change of lifestyle and change in career.
I was happy to party away the end of summer as Labour Day is a huge weekend-long celebration of the unofficial end of summer and the end of the gross humidity and heat. I got those summer blues. This summer has been brutal on my skin, my hair and my general mood as I feel like I haven’t slept in ages and am constantly exhausted due to the intense heat. My Irish body was not built for this bullshit. I was built for overcast and breezy spring and autumn days with a chilly wind and a hot chocolate in hand. I can’t wait to get back into my tights and jumpers. I can’t wait to lounge around in front of the fire.
So autumn is coming and it’s not just because Starbucks has started selling their pumpkin spice lattes again. Autumn is coming and with the end of summer brings back the routine of work or school. It’s that time of year again where people slumped back to their desks to work, kids kick and scream going back to school and college students drag their feet heading back to campus once more. I recognise all these feelings and rites of passages and there was a pang of sadness in my chest when I realised yesterday that I would not be going back to school or college. Institutionalised education is done for me for the moment; I’m learning new stuff every day and yet I crave the classroom structure and the support education can give an individual but in another way, I view education as a safety blanket. I can’t be a student forever and sooner rather than later, I will have to let go of the blanket.
This has been something I have been thinking about more recently as it is dawning on me more and more that everyone seems to be starting a new course or going back to college. It seems that everyone is moving forward and I have no idea where I’m heading next; my return home is approaching and I am scared of the change it will whereas I am thrilled to be going home; I thought I would have my next step thought out or what I would want to do.
For the past year, I have enjoyed my time living and working in America but now I have entered my last month, it will be a difficult transition to move home, to part ways with everything I have this year and start afresh at home. It will be a difficult month trying to finish up my internship here and soak up the last of american culture while trying to get myself ready and prepare for the move home. It’s going to be emotional. I will be an emotional mess, I just know it. Moving is never easy and moving over an ocean is even harder but it’s time to go.
‘It was only a year anyways and I can always come back’ I tell myself.
Another thing that has recently dawned on me as well is that I started college 6 years ago yesterday and also graduated from my undergrad 3 years ago. I also graduated from my postgrad 2 years ago so many anniversaries and memories have been coming up for me, on social media and in my memory as well. I remember those hectic and eventful occasions with some fond memories and the want to start over and do it all again.
It’s nearly been a year since I arrived in the U.S and soon it will all be a memory and I can’t help but wonder what will change in the coming year and what will I be doing this time next year; reminiscing about my days running around New York and day dreaming about my future?