I’m gonna start of this blog post with the disclaimer that the picture above was not what happened to me on a previous Saturday, this a random picture I took from Creative Commons, but this is what I wanted to happen to me. Alas the rain was pouring and the party was far away.
I live in Queens and the party was also in Queens yet a 30 minute journey turned into a 3 and half hours odyssey. Let me set the scene and while I’m doing that, you might as well settle in, pour yourself a glass of wine/ crack open a can and put on Scissors Sister’s Let’s Have A Kiki because it perfectly describe our odyssey.
And by bitch I mean this rain; no cab, nowhere.
So I had to put on the wig, and the heels
And the lashes, and take the train, to the club
And you know the MTA should stand for:
Mother-fuckers Touching My Ass
So then I get to the club
Looking like a drowned, harassed rat
And I’m greeted, not by Miss Rose at the door
But our friend, Johnny Five-O
Yes honey, the NYPD shut down the party
No ? for me, I don’t even know what’s the tea
So I hope you’re up girl
Because we are all coming over
Lock the doors, lower the blinds
Fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels
Cause I know exactly what we need’
So we wake up on Saturday morning and it’s cold and pouring rain outside. I instantly felt at home, all I needed was a cup of green tea and some furbabies at the end of bed but I was not at home, I was in New York and I had a Eurovision viewing party to get too. After getting up and getting ready, we grabbed our umbrellas, headed outside and instantly got drenched. I’m really emphasising the rain for pathetic fallacy. It barely rains in New York but of course on all days when I actually have somewhere social to be, the heavens open and my chances for getting to this party were closing fast.
After trudging to get a bagel and coffee, we headed back into the rain and waiting relentlessly for the bus. If you’ve ever waited for a bus in Queens, you’ll know it’s worse than Dublin Bus. 30 minutes later and I could feel the puddles in my shoes, my calves were not bone dry and everything was not coming up Milhouse. Me and Conor looked at each other and we sighed. We were already 20 minutes late for the party so we sucked it up and took out our phones and try to uber/lyft and both apps were not working. I felt like this was a sign from the universe that it didn’t want me to go and be social. The universe was also quick to under-estimate that I was on a mission. A mission to day drink. No rain was gonna stop me.
Now if you have common sense, you would have gone back to your apartment that is 3 blocks away, change your socks and dry off, wait for uber/lyft to work and start all over again. We did not have any common sense, instead we tried to get wi-fi in McDonald’s and then Duane Reade’s like the basic bitches we are and no luck. We then decided to try the subway even though many stations had shut down due to flooding. Making it down to the Roosevelt Avenue/74th Street Subway station against the wind and water in my face, I couldn’t stop hearing Let’s Have A Kiki in my head. After waiting 20 minutes on the platform for a train to arrive, we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The light of the R train slowly pulling into the station, I never thought I’d be happy to see the R train so much in my life. We hopped on and sighed, finally our Saturday was back on track.
And then the MTA made on announcement over the speaker…’Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, due to train delays and obstructions, we will not making stops at these stations’. Foiled again, we got off the subway but I was still determined to get there. We dried off in the station while waiting for uber (lyft was taking too long) to redownload and work. 40 minutes later and our knight in dull white armour pulled up to the station. An Uber to the rescue but we were already uber late….pun intended.
We arrived at the party at 5:15pm, it started at 2pm. We were super uber late but thankfully so were other people so we threw down our jackets and umbrella and cracked open some beers. Thankfully, we hadn’t missed that much of the Eurovision as we settled in to dry off and watch the rest of the show.
A blurry instagram photo of the atmosphere, It’s blurry because there’s was probably water in my photo. Oh, how I miss the camera on my Iphone.
Portugal won all too soon, much to the room’s despair but I was 3 beers in so I was happily merry. I would also like to disclaim that I am not a diehard Eurovision fan but I enjoy going to viewing parties like this and soaking up the super fans’ energy and passion. We all then began chatting after the show had ended, I also did not want to go back out into the rain but to stay inside and keep the party going. Alas, the party hosts were trying to clean up and we left for June bar around the corner for more drinks. This is a typical hipster bar with mismatch furniture and craft beers but they have great grilled cheeses and tunes are unreal. They had Donna Summer’s I Feel Love playing in the background. We stayed there for a few hours before following our friend Caroline into the city, I had relishing having a Saturday off and I was not about to have it end. We once again headed out into the storm. It was about 9:30pm and the rain had not stopped all day. Not once.
So we solider on as the drowned, harassed rats we were, as you can see from below.
We continued our journey into the night and into Alphabet City. We were to meet Caroline’s friends at a local bar in the area but before we did anything, we needed food as a bagel and handful of crisps vs. a few drinks is not going to end well, cue pizza. Solo Pizza to the rescue and their garlic knots were like little puffs of heaven. If you’re in a New York pizza place, invest in the garlic knots as garlic bread is not existent here and it was 3 for a dollar! Standard price but they’re were so good or maybe it was the alcohol and impending pneumonia talking. As we scoffed our pizza and freshen up, Caroline’s friends said to meet them at Zum Schneider, a kitschy, hipster version of a beer hall complete with traditional German ales and cider and even a mouse! No I’m not kidding, there was a small mouse just running around the whole bar all night long and my entertainment was watching it run circles around a woman’s feet as she sipped her beer without ever realising. Ignorance really is bliss.
Conor can vouch that the beer was amazing, whereas I drink ‘beers’ such as Twisted Teas which is basically alcoholic lemon ice tea so I opted for Hard Cider: Wölffer No.139, Long Island NY and it was deliciously dry and crisp but not delicious enough for it to be $10. Yeah $10, so I sipped and nursed it all night long, making it turn into 2 drinks instead of one.
(But at least it was 6.9% and the bottle was pretty.)
The atmosphere of the bar was lovely as it was quiet enough to hear each other talk and have a conversation but lively enough with music as a couple were randomly dancing in the middle of the bar, even as we were packing up to leave and the barmen were putting up stools and closing up shop but hey, each to their own.
We parted ways and left the bar at 2am as after our odyssey, me and my purse were stretched thin and so was Conor, we had been on the go for basically 12 hours and it was time to call it a night, as the others headed off to another bar, we headed home to sleep via our second knight in dull white armour. Yes, you guessed it, another uber.
As we got into our front door, I was relieved to finally be home (even if it is in Queens) and peel off my damp clothes and sopping wet shoes to get into dry, warm pyjamas and get some rest as the rain provide a nice lullaby to sleep to instead of the usual traffic and loud side gate outside our window.
It may have been an odyssey but at least it turned into a fun adventure.